Content
by rw4life
Summary: Sam reflects on her life from her almost 20 year old perspective. SEDDIE


Never in my young life did I think I would be a twenty-year-old housewife. If this notion were suggested to me earlier, I probably would've kicked someone's ass. Yet, here I was, a stay at home wife expecting her second child. Not something I would've chosen for myself, I mean, I did choose this, but...

We met in middle school, Freddie and I. He was Carly's new neighbor, and from the first time I saw him I knew he was a nub. Carly thought he was sweet, but only because he was head over heels in love with her. Disagreeing with Carly was something I didn't like to do, so our differing opinions made me hate the kid even more. And somehow, despite his freakishness and my initial hate of the boy, we became friends. This friendship was often violent and hateful...more so than it was loving and caring, but somehow, I still considered us friends.

We grew up together. His voice changed, he grew too fast for his clothes and suddenly he overpowered me, physically and mentally. I got somewhat taller, my chest grew and i began to take interest in boys. He was DEFINITELY not first on my list. He was beyond last. I would kiss a girl before I'd kiss him. I would kiss a RAT before I kissed him! And yet, I ended up sharing my first kiss with Freddie. It was short, it was sweet, and I convinced myself that it meant nothing.

But things changed. Our fights became more playful, we began to think alike, he became more aggressive, less afraid of me, and he crept up my list.

By our senior year of high school I was sure that I liked him. I had been denying it for so long, but somehow it all caught up to me. It was the day before prom, Carly had a date and as usual I was dateless. Freddie's date got sick (or so she said) and we were both alone. While waiting for Carly to show off her dress, he had turned to me casually and said, "Since we're both going stag, we might as well go together right?" I whacked him over the back of his head, responding with "Is that how you ask a girl to prom?" He turned and stared right into my eyes, asking "Samantha, will you go to the prom with me?" I nodded, speechless. His eyes were so beautiful. He was looking into me, at my soul. I quickly shook those mushy thoughts away and whacked him once more for calling me Samantha.

That night, Carly didn't return home. She went off with her longtime boyfriend and prom date, Jack. Everyone was doing it, and somehow, I ended up in Freddie's apartment. In Freddie's bed.

I remember waking up the next morning both satisfied and sad. I liked him, and despite the awkwardness it was a good first time, but I _liked_ him, and I regretted the circumstances in which I lost my virginity. I wished that we were in love, that we had been dating, that it wasn't just because...

After that night, things changed once more. I couldn't tell who regretted it more, but the playful banter stopped, most talking just between the two of us stopped and I spent less and less time with the boy I liked. The day before it was time for him to go to university in Boston, I found him on my doorstep. He silently let himself in when I opened the door, and we sat in silence on my living room couch. It occurred to me then, that in all the years I had known him he had never been to my house. He spoke first.

"Sam. I just...I'm going away to college, and I, I'm going to miss you. I'm really sorry things have been awkward between us and that you regret what happened that night, but i don't really. Not anymore."

I looked up at that moment, our eyes caught.

"You're my best friend. And I'm glad it was with you..." he chuckled dryly, "We shared a lot of firsts didn't we?"

I smiled sadly and his smile disappeared. He moved in closer and once again we were kissing. But I was just his best friend.

That night, after he left, I cried. The next morning he was off to Tufts University, while I attended a community college...one that I was only attending to appease Carly (who was now off to UPenn)

Luckily, or unluckily for me, I only attended for 5 months. After the first two months, I discovered that I was pregnant.

I put off telling Freddie. He had a future and that was one thing I didn't want to destroy. But he would return for his winter break, and by then it would be obvious. So I sent him an email. Not the nicest way to go about it, but I couldn't stand to see his face or hear his voice when he realized that I had ruined his future.

Like I said, it wasn't really my choice. I didn't choose to get pregnant; I didn't choose this life (though my mother may think differently). She said that I could've done what she did; not get married, raise the kid by myself...or even worse, get an abortion. But I wanted a child. I may not have been ready, but it would be Freddie's and mine...what if I had no other chance at this? And I didn't want my child to grow up like me. I had grown up longing for a father, and I knew that Freddie had always felt the same way. So we were married, Freddie quit school and got a job at a local tech support group. I had Maya and became a stay at home mom. It is now almost my 20th birthday, and before it's even legal for me to drink I'm married with a kid and expecting a son.

So I am now an almost 20-year-old housewife. I listen to audio books as I clean the house, play with my lovely daughter and cook dinner for my husband. It's not the life I would've chosen. It's not the happiest life. But I'm content.

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AN/ Honestly, I don't know where this came from. I started writing a fic that would take place after iSpaceOut, but then this popped into my head. **

**Just some notes,  
****-Like Sam says, she's not really UNHAPPY with her decision, she's just reflecting on it. (I'm sure Seddie would be a happy, if not odd, couple no matter the circumstances.)  
****-I am not anti-abortion, quite the opposite, and in my portrayal of Sam, she isn't either, it's just that in her case that's not a choice she wanted to make (for the sake of the story).  
****- Last of all, I know she may seem a bit OOC, but I feel like her experience would have changed her a bit, and though she'd still have her spunk, this is a serious reflection that I believe even the current Sam, as seen on TV, would be capable of.**

**Wow, well that's it. Let me know what you think please! Expect another story (in a different mood) from me eventually!**


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